All the books I wish I’d read

I love to read, I do it for pleasure and there is nothing better than immersing yourself in a fictional world where you can create something really unique to your reading experiences. However, I have a tedious love, hate relationship with this pastime.

I recently moved house and had to pack up all my worldly possessions, including my books. I realised just how many I have and how many I haven’t managed to read yet.

Some of my books are well worn, as I have read and reread them time and time again, but there are some, where I have only managed a page or 2 before I gave up.

Reading for pleasure has not always been possible and while I want to read all the classics like all the Bronte sisters’ novels, 1984 and Tarzan to name but a few, I find the complex language and structure difficult to follow and digest and sometimes feel like I am missing out.

I was given sunset song as a core text for Higher English in high school and again when attempting Higher English as an open learning course, yet, I still have no idea what the book is about. Not only could I not follow the scots language that it was written in, I also had no chance of finishing it in the allotted time. So after reading it 3 times, I think it’s is about the industrial revolution… there is a chance I may be wrong!

I used to be jealous of those who enjoyed reading, I, unlike many of my colleagues and classmates never wanted to read in public places. Once, when on one of my sunset song attempts a colleague questioned why I had not finished reading the book yet, (I had been reading it at work every lunchtime for 2 weeks) I felt really embarrassed and it put me off, I stopped reading my book at lunch after that.

In my first job we used to have a book club of sorts, we would discuss the books we were reading at lunch and swap them when we were finished. However, after a while, when I was 4 books behind and running out of excuses, I started missing lunch with my friends as I didn’t want anyone to know how long it took me to read.

I have begun to get over my fear of being judged and learned to love reading for pleasure which is becoming allot easier now I have an explanation for my slow reading pace. Nevertheless, even now I need to get into a book right away, it needs to grip my attention and not let go before I will invest the time and effort it takes for me to read it. This has led to my collection of barely touched books of which there are been many, all in a pile to read when I have spare time!

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